Out of balance

A couple months ago, I decided that with all the changes going on with me right now, my emotional and spiritual well-being needed to take precedence over school.

There’s been so much to sort through, though.  I’ve given a lot of time to exploring the desires that I repressed for years.  And I’ve spent time envisioning what it might be like to be in a BDSM relationship.  And I’ve also been reevaluating my past in the newly recognized context of power-sensitivity.

Besides working through BDSM-related things, I’ve also been trying to join in the culture around me, which I’ve always tried to avoid; I’m trying to trust God with the control I’ve exercised over what influences me.  I think it’s important to be able to relate to the people around me.

Unfortunately, all this has made more of an impact on my schoolwork than I expected, and it caught up with me yesterday.  I managed to not notice the registration date for next quarter, and when I finally did register, two of the three classes I needed were totally full.  And I got a paper back that I thought was well done, but got less than a 50%.  That’s unusual for me.  I usually do pretty well with school.

I was already getting burned out on school before accepting my sexuality, but this is too much.  I can’t get this disconnected from school and still finish.  I need to find a way to balance all the new things in my life with the old (and still important) ones.

On that note, I need to go finish (and start) a couple of neglected assignments that are due tomorrow.  Ugh.